by An Ton That

The scene at any dance event always looks the same. There are more women than men. There are more women on the dance floor and more women sitting down than men. Last time I checked, the 2000 Census showed that there are 96.3 men for every 100 women in this country, but looking at any ballroom scene one would think that men are on the government’s endangered species list.

In an attempt to understand why most men don’t dance, I decided to do some research. I approached two men that I’ve known for years. Since I have never seen either of them dance, I asked the question “why don’t you dance?” The first person replied: “Ballroom dancing, ballroom dancing is for the newlyweds and the ‘nearly deads.’ I danced at my wedding and that is it for me.” Since he is still married and in his mid-30s, I guess it will be a long time before we see him on the dance floor.

The second man is an older gentleman, a widower. He is way past the “over the hill” stage. Like myself, he is in the “tumbling and rolling down the hill” stage. His answer was: “Ballroom dancing, isn’t that where ‘boy meets girl’ and ‘dirty old men’ meet girls? I tried before but it did not work. I don’t have the rhythm. I don’t know the steps. I can’t dance – so I quit”.

AH HAH! It’s that old “two left feet” syndrome and the “rhythmically challenged” excuse! Men, don’t let these perceptions stop you from dancing. After a few months of dance lessons, one of your left feet will pretend to be the right foot and you’ll be dancing in no time– trust me I’ve been there, done that. And about the rhythm thing, dance with your own rhythm. As long as your partner doesn’t mind, then it’s OK. After all, the dance is just for you and your partner anyway and most women don’t care how out of rhythm you are or how ridiculous you look, they just want to dance.

Although the man was honest with his answer, dancing is not really about a man and a woman in sexual sense. It’s about the warm feeling of being held by the opposite sex and at the same time letting the bodies float and blend through space with the rhythm of music. It’s the best medicine for releasing stress and it’s free! Men, by not getting up and dancing, you are denying yourself pleasurable moments!

Generally men are reluctant to get up and dance, except when they are very drunk, of course. The reason can be traced back to their childhood. It’s very easy for boys to pick up a ball running out to the field and having fun with friends. It so simple, it’s doesn’t require instruction; it doesn’t need special shoes. It’s outdoors and it especially doesn’t involve anything to do with girls. Dancing was never an activity boys by nature wanted to participate in because they could not enjoy or compete with friends like other sport activities. So when they grow up, most men don’t have much dancing skill, since they are not used to dancing and they don’t want the world to know how clumsy and uncoordinated they are. They don’t dance in public and especially not in front of the women in their lives. Hey men, listen! If you can do silly, ridiculous things like drinking beer contests in public in front of those women then you can surely dance in public too. The only key difference is that you can actually make some women really happy while doing it.

Lack of dancing skill in men has been known for a long time. Ask any dance instructor and they will tell you: “in dancing, men progress more slowly than women do.” They always advise the women: “don’t expect too much too soon from the man.” So you see men, it’s OK not to be perfect. Dancing is a learned skill. Neither men nor women are born with it. Like walking, everyone has to learn before they can take the first step. It is not so odd that you men don’t dance so well initially. A few dance lessons will fix that problem easily.

Many non-dancing men consider dancing as not masculine – an unmanly thing to do. It’s “ballerina,” or it’s “sissy,” etc. Well, the most famous football coach, Vince Lombardi, considered dancing to be a sport when he said, “dancing is contact sport, football is a hitting sport”. If that doesn’t make you feel dancing is sporty or masculine enough then listen to one of the most intelligent men on earth, Albert Einstein, who said, “dancers are the athletes of God”. These two extraordinary men couldn’t be all wrong. So men, get up and dance showing the world how athletic you are.

Ballroom dancing is not just “for the newly weds or the nearly deads”. Women generally go to the wedding with a serious boy friend, husband in tow or alone looking and dancing. When the music starts, the women with boyfriends or husbands will ask him to dance. His face turns to a state of mortification and he objects by saying: “I don’t know the step” or he starts talking about an old sport related injury that prohibits him from dancing. The woman is morose. After all of the dealings with the toilet seat being up, snoring at night, smelly socks every day, geez doesn’t she deserve at least a dance! So if you’re the husband or the boy friend, then get up and dance with her! The woman who comes alone looking is waiting for someone to ask her to dance – anyone. There are men sitting around nursing their drinks but often no one comes over to ask her to dance. They are either too cool to dance or too shy to ask. She feels ignored and goes home alone that night, depressed and unhappy. If someone would have asked her to dance, the world would seem a much brighter place and she would be a lot happier and who knows what would happen after the dance? A date? A companionship that will last forever? Dancing is a good antidote for loneliness and depression.

Men, next time you are at wedding reception or at dance party go ahead get up and ask a woman to dance. You don’t need to know much to dance to the “slow” music. Just moving your two left feet one at a time so they don’t step on each other then you will be fine. It doesn’t matter whether you are young and good looking, old and wrinkled, geeky or nerdy, women will be happy to dance with you. They come there to dance after all.

Men get up. Take some dance lessons if you need to. Just dance before Japanese scientists invent robots that can dance and can lead their partners then you’re DOOMED. The women will just not need you any more they will trade you in for? the batteries. So men, let get up and dance.